I used to joke with a friend from college, especially when we would attend an event, "no one knows we're here." We would show up for gatherings or college concerts, and sometimes not even be noticed. Unspoken to. Back then it felt a bit funny to say to each other, "we're invisible." But, funny eventually wore off. Invisible is a lonely and somewhat dangerous place to be for anyone. I think the experience that is teaching me the most about this is motherhood.
I have three boys, who, together with my loving husband, am raising to be God fearing, men. Nearly five years of changing diapers every single day. Lots of baby love. Lots of baby talk. Plenty of goo-goo ga-ga's. They have become such an important part of my "why" in this world, and I believe being a wife, mother, and mostly a child of God is, perhaps one of the highest callings in life. But, motherhood, and striving to be a picture of a biblical woman can be draining some days.
Invisibility creeps in to cover your life. No one can see all that you do and the dreams that you dream. Except for God, He sees.
He sees me wonder through the night sometimes, re tucking baby blue sheets and lightening McQueen blankets. He stands with me when I match endless socks, cheering me on when I take the extra time to actually hang the clothes, instead of leaving them for the next day. He knows that I struggle with the monotony of one day after another, each one exhausting, and without measurable accomplishment. Not only does God see, but it has helped me to know that He is filled with great pride over my sacrifice and love. He watches how I care for those He has entrusted me with, I am sure of it. When I give to those who will forget to say thank you, all of heaven stands to applaud.
The life of a mom is laden with hidden sacrifice, and sometimes I wonder, do they have any idea how much I care for them? Do they know who folded their clothes, and swept the floor before they even came out of the bedroom for breakfast? Does anyone think that I am special? Does my heart matter to anyone, really?
I am sure that even as our children grow older, the weariness will change, but the invisible work will surely never end.
Before eating breakfast, taking a shower, or brushing my teeth today, I took at least ten little things to each of our boys' rooms that had been left around the house from last night, and organized my closet a bit. After I found the time to sip some coffee and eat a bite, it then was lunch time for our little ones. I fed our children and managed to fold two loads of clothes. Then, I put our two younger kids down for a much needed nap (rocking one and reading to the other) then cleaned up from breakfast and lunch. Invisible and unseen, at least here on earth. But so very noticed by God.
Sometimes I struggle with this thankless job called motherhood, and the truth is, it would be so much easier to work outside the home. But the reward and applause from heaven, and the pride I know my Lord has in me, far outweighs the "easiness" of any other job.
" Am I a God who is near," declares the Lord, "and not a God far off?"
"Can a man hide himself in hiding places so I can not see him?" declares the Lord. "Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?" declares the Lord.
----Jeremiah 23:23-24
May this encourage you, mothers, to strive to be "visible." Make each moment count for Christ. He is the author and the finisher of our faith----------Let us strive to have more of that very faith.
