Piper on Womanhood

I love the way John Piper describes biblical, christian womanhood. Listen and enjoy!!



Motherhood is a Calling (And where your kids rank)



This was such a blessing to me I pray it is equally so for you too. Many blessings to you all!

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”
She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?

The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross

But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How

The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things

When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.
Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).
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Recent post from Rachel Jankovic —

Loving Him



I think most days I take my precious husband for granted. He is gone sometimes for work and it isn't [usually] until then, that I really really am grateful for the man that God has blessed me with! Do any of you feel this way?

I have been pregnant only for 6 weeks now, and have been so so sick. During my sickness my wonderful husband has kept up with most of my household duties, and I am so very thankful for that. He is my hero, my best friend, my leader, and my lover!

Thank your husband today, show him that you care... make his favorite meal! Show him your love daily, not just when he is away.

Good Wife's Guide

I love love love this from Time Warp Wife's blog. I don't always do these things, but I would love to strive for this daily! Many blessings to all of you. Hope you enjoy






I came across a copy of "The Good Wife's Guide" the other day. It looked to be a photocopy of an article published by "Housekeeping Monthly," in May of 1955, but upon closer inspection, I got to wondering if the article might be a hoax. I recognized the photo as one I had previously seen on the cover of John Bull Magazine.

Wikipedia writes, "According to snopes.com, the wording "The Advertising Archives" located on the right side of the image suggests a fraud, since the Archives itself was not started until 1990." So was it an email hoax? More than likely it was.

I got to reading the satirical article and so many of the points that it had were the same ones I stress throughout the contents of my blog, and in particular a post I wrote titled, "My Desire for Curb Appeal." I clicked through several of the links, and nearly everywhere the guide was posted, it was up for much ridicule. The sad thing in all of this is that our role as a help-meet is being diminished by popular opinions that would rather scoff at good family values than face the truth of God’s word.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24, (NIV)

I’ve decided to resurrect the “Good Wife’s Guide” in my own words, and according to the role that I hope to fulfill in my life. It is no longer a satirical piece written to mock the role of a help-meet, but rather a guide that leads women toward a noble character and good family values. It’s time that we took a stand for family values that serve to grow and protect the family unit as God divinely designed it to be.

Let’s get started ladies!

• Take a look in the mirror an hour before your husband comes home to ensure that you are presentable. An hour allows ample time to hop into the shower if need be.
• Go light on the perfume, but use great smelling soaps, shampoo, and antiperspirant so he’ll want to snuggle up for the evening.
• If you wear makeup, put a little on before he walks in. Your goal is to look happy and radiant--not done up.
• Dress in feminine clothing. Men are attracted to women, not fashion, so do your best to wear styles, fabrics and colors that remind him you’re a woman and not another one of the guys. Dress as well for him as you would for new friends.
• Have all chores done before he walks in the door, and try to have things like the dishwasher and vacuum turned off.
• Put aside your problems and be cheerful when he walks in the door.
• Make your bed every morning so he has a comfortable place to rest at night or upon returning from work.
• Ensure that the television and stereos are turned off so that the house is peaceful.
• If the kids are excited about something, encourage them to wait about 15 minutes before they share their news.
• Prepare dinner before he arrives. There’s nothing quite like the smell of home cooking when you walk in the door—especially when you’re cooking the food he likes.
• Have the pots and pans washed ahead of time so that the kitchen is every bit as presentable as the meal.
• If you have problems to deal with, wait until after dinner to spring it on him. Husbands are happier when their tummies are full.
• Greet him at the door with open arms, a kiss, and a warm embrace.
• Make an effort to look at him when he is speaking so that he has your full attention.
• Close the computer if you’re on it, and if you’re chatting on the phone try to end the conversation and call her back later.
• Have the children tidy up the front entrance when they arrive from school. Backpacks, jackets and gym bags make for an untidy greeting.
• Do your best to have the house clean and organized at all times. He is working hard outside the home and needs home to be his haven of rest.
• Don’t be angry if he’s working late, instead show appreciation for long hours put in.
• Have the kids wash their faces, and change their clothing if they are soiled from play before Daddy comes home.
• Don’t nag him or try to reshape his bad habits. Work on your own and practice acceptance at all times.
• It is imperative that you defend your husband to your children and that they respect him at all times. Never allow them to grumble or complain about him whether he’s present or not.
• Don’t compare him to other women’s husbands or to your father when it comes to your definition of a man. Love and respect go a lot farther than criticism ever will.

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. ~ Proverbs 31:10"

God Shed His Grace



I can not begin to express how thankful and grateful I am, that our Almighty Father in Heaven saw it fit to shed His matchless grace upon this great country! We are a blessed nation! May we not forget that on this Independance Day. May we, as mothers, wives, friends, and women of God turn our eyes and our hearts to the very One who has made our nation free... May we be a nation who refuses to be any less than grateful!!! Praying you enjoy this wonderful song; that you listen, really listen!!!
Many Blessings to you and your family!

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through
wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice,
for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

Wonderful Tips and Ideas

 

How do you manage to homeschool, take care of your house and have young children without the house looking like a toy store, art store and grocery store blew up? -Jessica

Great question, Jessica!
I think many people have this unrealistic picture that I just sit around in this perfectly clean and organized home and do geography lessons, hands-on science experiments and read for hours on end with my three children with nary an interruption or mess.
Truth be told, we have plenty of messes. There are days when I never make it out of my pajamas and it seems like while I’m cleaning up one mess, the children are in the other room making an even bigger mess.
I love being a mom. I love homeschooling. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. Not by a long stretch. There are days when I want to pull my hair out. There are many days when I feel so overwhelmed with the responsibility of training and raising three children. There are days when I just want to give up and give in.
But, I’m slowly learning and growing as a mom. Learning what works and what doesn’t work. Learning to rely upon the Lord more. And, most of all, learning to let go of my expectations and my perfectionism.
There are many moms who are much farther along in their mothering journey who likely have much more wisdom to share, but here are a few things I’ve found to be tremendously helpful:

1) Accept the Fact That It Will Be Never Perfect

One of the quotes from The Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family that I loved was, “Embrace the Chaos”. This has helped me so much.
Children are being raised, trained and nurtured in our home and this means that it’s not going to be perfect — or even close. Messes, spills, sticky peanut butter fingerprints are inevitable. When I let go of perfectionism and accept that this life of mine isn’t going to be all neat and tidy all the time, I’m a much more relaxed and cheerful mom.

2) Ask God for Patience

Many days, I feel overwhelmed and incapable of doing this mothering thing. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it forces me to my knees on a very regular basis to ask the Lord to help me. I try to start each day with time reading God’s Word and praying asking the Lord to please give me patience, love and joy as I teach and care for my children. I need His help and grace every moment of every day!

3) Have a Plan

I’m not a fan of rigid, regimented schedules. They just don’t work for this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl.
A routine, however, is a lifesaver for me. Having on paper set blocks of time for our main priorities in each day has been very beneficial to me. We get more done, life is more organized and instead of having to worry about what we’re going to do next, we just do the next thing on our routine list.
We’re always tweaking our routine (and that’s the beauty of it!), but here’s how our summer schedule currently looks for us:

I wake up sometime between 5:30 and 6:00 a.m. I read my Bible, pray, read for 10 minutes from my current book, exercise, blog for a bit, take a shower and get dressed.
Our day “officially” starts at 8 a.m. Sometimes the children wake up before then and, if so, they have free time until 8 a.m. At 8 a.m., we have breakfast, read our Bible devotional together and work on our Bible memory verses.
8:30 all the children take baths, get dressed and get their hair fixed.
9:00 is chore time. This is when I do the bulk of the house cleaning. I have daily chores that I do on a daily basis (clean the kitchen, wipe down the counter tops, clean up my room, etc.) and day-of-the-week chores that I do once a week.
The girls are responsible for their room and bathroom, plus they help out with emptying trashes and vacuuming. Once they get their chores done, they can play until 10:00.
10:00 is homeschooling time. We do My Father’s World, Math, Reading and Penmanship (we’re already finished with History, Art and Science until the fall) around the kitchen table.
Kaitlynn and Silas listen in and work on busy bags, coloring, bean-scooping, etc. I have a big tub with activities that I rotate for them to do. They usually only stick with one activity for 10-15 minutes, so I stop and get them set up with something else as needed.
Kathrynne usually doesn’t finish up all her work during this time so she’ll work on finishing it up after lunch.
11:00 is read-aloud time (during the school year, we bump this time to the afternoon and continue homeschool time here). I read a few picture books and then a few chapters from our current read-aloud book. The children often play with Legos on the living room floor while I read. I’ve found that they seem to listen better when their hands are busy.

11:45 the children can go outside to play in the backyard while I switch the laundry, make lunch and check in on blogging stuff.
12:30 is lunch time. If we’re still in the middle of an exciting part in our read-aloud, I’ll often read again during part of lunch.
1:30 is quiet time. Silas goes down for a nap, Kaitlynn reads books in her room (usually falling asleep) and Kathrynne reads or plays quietly (or finishes up her school work). I do most of my blogging during this time. In the fall, Kathrynne will be working on finishing up her homework during this time, plus reading.
3:00 (or whenever Silas wakes up) is snack time. If the children have all their chores and Kathrynne has all her school done done, they are free to play until dinner. They sometimes play very nicely, other times, it’s complete chaos… we’re still working on that. I get dinner made, pick up, fold and put a load of laundry away and finish up any blogging/computer tasks if I have time or need to.
6:00 is dinner time. We usually take our time around the table, talking about the day, getting into rousing discussions, etc. Dinner sometimes lingers until 7:30 or later. After dinner, we quickly clean up, the children get their jammies on and teeth brushed and then we have our family Bible Time. After that, the children go to bed.
8:30 is our time as a couple. Sometimes, we have an “at-home date night” complete with a movie and some sort of treat. Sometimes, we both have projects to work on so we’ll just hang out in the same room with our laptops (the glamorous life of both being self-employed!). Other times, we just talk.
10:30 to 11:00 is typically lights out. Yes, we’re “early birds” like that — and sometimes I konk out soon after the kiddos go to bed! (I’ve always wished I could be one of those people who thrives on 5 1/2 hours of sleep. But alas, I’ve learned need at least 6 1/2 to 7 hours every night — preferably a little more! — to function well.)

4) Focus on One Habit at a Time

It’s so easy to want to change our homes and selves overnight. But that’s entirely unrealistic.
We all have areas we need to grow and improve in. We all have things we want to instill in our children. But none of us can do it all at once.
One thing I’ve found to be very helpful is to make a list of all the areas I want to work on and then just choose one area to focus on for three months. Instead of trying to get up earlier, make healthier meals, exercise, read more and learn how to knit all in the same month, pace yourself and pick the highest priority goal first. Once you feel like you’ve somewhat mastered it, add in something else.
Slow and gradual improvements tend to be much more long-lasting — and much less exhausting!

5) Give Yourself Grace

Superwoman is a myth. No woman does everything and every woman has her areas she struggles with.
Having a plan for our day has helped me tremendously, but nothing ever goes perfectly according to plan. There are always unexpected interruptions, messes, children with bad attitudes and many, many disruptions to each day.
I used to beat myself up that I wasn’t as organized and efficient as I wanted to be. But I started realizing how unproductive this was as it only served to discourage me.
I’m slowly learning to give myself grace. When I’m tired, I’m learning to choose sleep over a spotlessly clean kitchen. When I’m feeling burnt out, I’m learning to let myself not worry about blogging or laundry for a few hours and just go do something fun with the children, with my husband or with a friend.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and savored not run through at breakneck speed. Take time to stop and smell the roses, even if it means fewer things get crossed off the to-do list!

Originally written on moneysavingmoms.com

Selfish Marriage



This is a wonderful article. The topic of selfishness, and what the bible says has been on my mind for quite some time. This entry speaks of the selfishness in marriage, and how it will destroy your marriage and your life! I pray you are blessed by this. That your heart is softened. That your marriage is changed.

Many Blessings

 

 

 

By Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Maintaining harmony in marriage has been difficult since Adam and Eve. Two people trying to go their own selfish, separate ways can never hope to experience the oneness of marriage as God intended. The prophet Isaiah portrayed the problem accurately more than 2,500 years ago when he described basic human selfishness like this: "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way"  (Isaiah 53:6).

Selfishness is possibly the most dangerous threat to oneness in marriage. It affects how we talk to each other, how we divide responsibilities in the home, how we resolve conflicts, and even how we spend our time. Men stubbornly ignore the needs of their wives. They prefer fishing or hunting or playing golf, or even spending an extra hour or two at the office. I once met a pastor who frequented Christian bookstores and libraries for the sole purpose of avoiding his wife. And I have counseled women who spend countless hours shopping, not for their families but to avoid responsibilities at home and to gratify themselves.

Just how do we avoid reaping the bitter fruit of selfishness in a marriage?

Surrender is the key
In our first years of marriage I (Dennis) was more than a bit selfish. After being single for 25 years, I was skilled at looking out for my own needs. But when I took Barbara as my wife, I assumed a new responsibility—loving Barbara as Christ loved the church. That demanded death to self, but my “self” didn’t want to “die.”

After we were married, it didn’t take Barbara long to learn about my genuine 14-carat tendency to be lazy, which was closely linked to my enjoyment of television. I thought Saturdays were mine to thoroughly enjoy as I pleased. Following the pattern I’d learned from my dad, I would get soft drinks and chips, crawl into my chair, and settle down to watch hours of baseball, football, tennis, golf—it didn’t matter what the sport. I just wanted to become a giant amoeba, a blob of molecules with flat brain waves mesmerized by hours of boob tube gazing. What was wrong with this picture? Barbara needed my help in doing tasks and running errands.


Read more at Growthtrac Defeating Selfishness in Your Marriage, Christian Marriage Articles - Growthtrac http://www.growthtrac.com/artman/publish/selfishness-marriage-1317.php

Marriage offers a tremendous opportunity to do something about selfishness. Someone may say, “There is no hope; I can’t get him to change,” or “What’s the use? She’ll never be any different.” Barbara and I know there is hope because we learned to apply a plan that is bigger than human self-centeredness. Through principles taught in Scripture, we have learned how to set aside our selfish interests for the good of each other as well as for the profit of our marriage.

Willing to be last
We have seen the Bible’s plan work in our lives, and we’re still seeing it work daily. Barbara hasn’t changed me nor have I changed her. God has changed both of us.

The answer for ending selfishness is found in Jesus and His teachings. He showed us that instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve. Instead of trying to save our lives, we must lose them. We must love our neighbors (our spouses) as much as we love ourselves. In short, if we want to defeat selfishness, we must give up, give in, and give all.

If we live our lives for ourselves, thinking only of our selfish desires and interests, in the end God gives us exactly what we want: ourselves.

Marriage provides the opportunity to live life for someone else and to avoid this terrible conclusion: “All I’ve got is me. I can’t depend on anyone else.”

The parable of the porcupines
What we need the most is to be in a relationship with another person who accepts us as we are and doesn't reject us. But the closer I get to Barbara, the more she becomes aware of who I really am and the possibility of her rejecting me grows even greater.

A well-known story catches the pain of the human dilemma when it compares relating to each other to the predicament of two porcupines freezing in the winter cold. Shivering in the frigid air, the two porcupines move closer together to share body heat and warmth. But then their sharp spines and quills prick each other painfully and they move apart, victims once more of the bitter cold around them. Soon they feel they must come together once more, or freeze to death. But their quills cause too much pain and they have to part again.

Many marriages are just like that. We can't stand the cold (isolation from each other) but we desperately need to learn how to live with the sharp barbs and quills that are part of coming together in oneness.

The key to dealing with the barbs and quills that come from selfishness is learning you have to depend on someone else because you have no other choice. To experience oneness, you must give up your will for the will of another. But to do this, you must first give up your will to Christ, and then you will find it possible to give up your will for that of your spouse.

Unless you can give up your will and learn to depend on each other, selfishness will disable or destroy your marriage as you face the difficulties that are bound to occur.